Why I Said Yes

I haven't chosen an easy career path. One out of every five students in college chooses a major that has to do with the entertainment industry... Alright, that's completely made up, I have no idea what the numbers actually are. But, I do know that I was one of those students. I don't know why other people choose it, but I chose it because I love the movie business, emphasis on the business. I actually got giddy when I had to develop a marketing plan for a a script for class. I'll say it again, I love this business. But it's not an easy one. You can't be shy, you have to have tough skin, you have to be a people person, you have to be persistent, you can't quit, you have to be willing to do whatever it takes to get what you want. And even then, it may still not be enough. I should know. But if I'm really honest with myself, I'll admit that I haven't REALLY tried until the last year or so. I went back to school and decided that this time, I would truly take advantage of my time there. I've put as much effort into building relationships with my professors and my classmates as I have into school work. And slowly, it has started to pay off.

But sometimes, I loose focus. I loose sight of why I said yes to this path. That has been the case this past month. I interviewed with a company that I very much want to work for, I made a good impression, was asked to come back for a final interview, and then... Nothing. Not exactly nothing, they still haven't made a decision. I'm so unbelievably frustrated that I don't know what to do with myself. I'm so anxious to finally get started. I just broke down today. I think it was a culmination of waiting to hear something, being broke, not being able to help out my mom back home, having to move by the end of the summer, having to have a second job at the mall and the ridiculous heat here in Miami.

Then this evening sitting at the table after dinner, I was reminded why I said yes to my partner in crime when he proposed two months ago. He reminded me of all the other things I'm working on. I'm writing and producing my own short film for my thesis, helping some classmates with the marketing on theirs, I just got the opportunity to work with a great team to put together a seminar for producers here in Miami, thanks to one of my professors, and I'm going to LA for three weeks this summer to network like there's no tomorrow. So I'm making moves. I forgot about all of that today, but he was quick to give me a reality check and put me in my place. He said what could possibly be the most important words I could hear, maybe more important than I love you. "I believe in you, babe. Never giving up hope on you."

I may not accomplish exactly what I want to do (marketing and distribution in a production company, for those of you keeping track), but I am going to work my ass off like there's no tomorrow to get there. And even then, I've accomplished something that some people never get to see. I've built a life, not just a relationship, with someone that is always on my corner, pushing me to succeed and be better. And as I sit here next to him on the couch, watching his emotions shift as he watches El Heat play game 1 of the finals, I realize how ridiculously blessed I am to share my life with him. It hasn't always been easy, relationships take a lot of work, but every moment has been worth it. Kind of like trying to make my career work.

The Locker Room

Every morning, for close to two years now, I get up between 5:30 and 6 in the morning to go to the gym. Ok, maybe not every single morning, but 4 out of the 5 days of the week, I'm there. So far, I've lost 27 pounds, and I'm smaller and healthier than I have ever been in my life. I'm almost at my goal weight, and I feel absolutely fantastic. It hasn't been easy, but it hasn't been extraordinarily hard either. Aside from my own personal achievement, the best thing that I've learned on this journey is discipline. Discipline when it comes to food, exercising, and most importantly, time. Time has become so precious to me. I thought about that today as I was getting ready for work in the locker room. That's an interesting place, the locker room. At that time in the day, it's filled with women who, like I have learned, value a healthy body and mind, discipline. Sarah, Kathy and Chris have become daily staples in my life. The days I miss the gym, I wonder if they ask themselves why I'm not there. We talk about ever day things, make-up brands, the Comcast guy showing up at 4:30 during the 8-5 window promised, sick parents, sick kids, periods, menopause and anything else under the sun. It's like we've become a little locker room family. When we see each other walking around campus, we nod and smile, but we don't stop and talk. It's like our world only exists in the confines of the locker room, surrounded by the sounds of showers and hair dryers and squeaking, wet flip flops on the floor.

I digress, back to discipline. I've always been a very routinely person. My sister says that I'm easy to kill because I do the same thing everyday. Which I do. Until this morning, the past few days really, I hadn't realized how important time and discipline have become to me. Julie Andrews said "some people regard discipline as a chore. For me, it is a kind of order that sets me free to fly." That's exactly how I feel. The discipline to get up early every day to go to the gym has given me the ability to discipline myself to other things going on in my life. For one, my thesis that I have to complete by December. I've been dedicating more time to writing it and polishing it, making it better and better, all because of discipline. I use my time so much more efficiently now.

Which brings me to the issue of the day, my new (yes, I have many) pet peeve. I absolutely hate it when people waste my time. Now, I'm a smart, educated individual and absolutely understand that everyone doesn't function like me and that we're all different. But seriously, people! If I send you an email, how hard is it to click reply and type "yes" "no" or "still working on it"? Good grief! I know, not everything is about me, other things happen, things come up. Cool. Totally on board with that. But if I reach out to you to follow up, the least you can do is give me an answer. Don't just leave me hanging. Because aside from pissing me off, you're just making yourself, and the people around you, look bad. Apparently, this is a new thing, where people ignore emails, text messages, voice mails and facebook wall posts. And I know you're ignoring me, because I know you have a Blackberry/iPhone, so I know you get your emails anywhere you are (she said in stalker fashion). Maybe that's what's wrong. Maybe all this accessibility and technology has us burnt out. Remember when you only had to answer the messages on your answering machine? Yes, I'm that old. Although, if you think about it, technology has advanced more in the last ten to fifteen years, than in the last sixty. So maybe not that old. But, you get what I mean? Maybe we've become immune to the Outlook email notification because we hear it so much. The worse however, the absolute worse, is when you answer some of my emails, but not the rest. I know you got them! I know you read it! You just choose to ignore it. GAAHH!!!

Ok, that's the rant for the day. I feel better now.

The lesson for today, boys and girls, is that if you get an email or any other form of communication from someone, don't just ignore it. Even if you don't know the answer at the moment, a simple "I got your email and will let you know" will suffice. Two seconds of your time go a long way. Don't make me start flipping tables over and acting ethnic. It won't be pretty.